The polar apocalypse is upon us.
But seriously, snow days are no cause for panic. Here’s all a Southerner needs to know to survive this:
1. THE WORLD IS ENDING!
(Just kidding. Get out there and have some fun in this snow!!)
2. Thick, wet snow is the best for making snowmen.
3. Thick, wet snow is also the best for making snowballs. But don’t make snowballs out of ice. Those hurt. And leave scars on your foreheads that are still visible thirty years later. (And ice ball scars are not nearly as cool as Harry Potter lightning bolt scars.) (Not that I’m speaking from personal experience…)
4. If you’ve never licked an icicle, this is your chance. Seize the day, and get licking!
5. DO NOT DRIVE ON SNOW. Yes, yes, I know you’ve seen people doing it on TV. They’re from Minnesota or Canada, eh, and they’ve been doing it all their lives. Trust me. Unless you’re in labor or you have absolutely no clean water or you need a finger stitched back on, stay home.
6. Layers, y’all. Pile on two or three of your favorite football team sweatshirts and get out and play in that snow.
7. Plastic grocery bags tied around your shoes make great makeshift snow boots.
8. There is nothing better than sitting in front of a fireplace, reading a book while it snows outside.
Note to Southerners (and anyone else looking for a good book today): Southern Fried Blues is a great choice. Jackson Davis would love to warm you up!
9. If you’re going to take pictures of the snow to send to your local news station, take a picture of something other than your patio furniture.
10. Large garbage bags make great impromptu sleds. So do blow-up pool mattresses. And, thanks to Christy on Facebook for pointing out the most obvious – Mom’s cookie sheets! But if you’re redneck enough (Christy mentioned sledding in ice chests too!), I expect you don’t need my advice on how to makeshift anything.
And one last bonus thought on the beauty of snow days:
Hot chocolate was made for days like today. Drink up, y’all.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go teach my children proper snow angel making techniques.
EDIT: Huge thanks to Angela on Facebook for pointing out I missed one of the coolest snow day activities: Snow Ice Cream! If you get enough snow (and if you don’t have to run to the store for milk), give it a try!
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