The Top Ten Things Southerners Need To Know About Snow - Jamie Farrell

The Top Ten Things Southerners Need To Know About Snow

SouthernSnowWe're supposed to get a snow-slash-sleet storm here in Alabama today.

The polar apocalypse is upon us.

But seriously, snow days are no cause for panic. Here's all a Southerner needs to know to survive this:

1. THE WORLD IS ENDING!

(Just kidding. Get out there and have some fun in this snow!!)

2. Thick, wet snow is the best for making snowmen.

3. Thick, wet snow is also the best for making snowballs. But don't make snowballs out of ice. Those hurt. And leave scars on your foreheads that are still visible thirty years later. (And ice ball scars are not nearly as cool as Harry Potter lightning bolt scars.) (Not that I'm speaking from personal experience…)

4. If you've never licked an icicle, this is your chance. Seize the day, and get licking!

5. DO NOT DRIVE ON SNOW. Yes, yes, I know you've seen people doing it on TV. They're from Minnesota or Canada, eh, and they've been doing it all their lives. Trust me. Unless you're in labor or you have absolutely no clean water or you need a finger stitched back on, stay home.

6. Layers, y'all. Pile on two or three of your favorite football team sweatshirts and get out and play in that snow.

7. Plastic grocery bags tied around your shoes make great makeshift snow boots.

8. There is nothing better than sitting in front of a fireplace, reading a book while it snows outside.

Note to Northerners: Yep, Southerners have fireplaces too. Here's a picture of mine: Southern Fireplace

Note to Southerners (and anyone else looking for a good book today): Southern Fried Blues is a great choice. Jackson Davis would love to warm you up!

9. If you're going to take pictures of the snow to send to your local news station, take a picture of something other than your patio furniture.

10. Large garbage bags make great impromptu sleds. So do blow-up pool mattresses. And, thanks to Christy on Facebook for pointing out the most obvious – Mom's cookie sheets! But if you're redneck enough (Christy mentioned sledding in ice chests too!), I expect you don't need my advice on how to makeshift anything.

And one last bonus thought on the beauty of snow days:

Hot chocolate was made for days like today. Drink up, y'all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go teach my children proper snow angel making techniques.

EDIT: Huge thanks to Angela on Facebook for pointing out I missed one of the coolest snow day activities: Snow Ice Cream! If you get enough snow (and if you don't have to run to the store for milk), give it a try!

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Leave a Comment:

11 comments
Daniel Hamin says January 28, 2014

You left out the important warning “Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow” otherwise, it if very funny and true.

Reply
    Jamie Farrell says January 28, 2014

    Very good reminder! 🙂

    Reply
Christy Stelly Briggs says January 28, 2014

Oh Jamie you are to funny. I am from South Louisiana,and we to have fireplaces and will make good use of it for the next couple of days,we are having rain/sleet right now waiting for the snow for the fun to begin:)

Reply
    Jamie Farrell says January 28, 2014

    Hope you snow arrives pretty and sweet and melts quickly so life can get back to normal, Christy! 🙂

    Reply
Kelsey Browning says January 28, 2014

Hmm…wondering how my Middle Eastern cookie sheets will hold up in the snowpocalypse? 🙂

Reply
    Jamie Farrell says January 28, 2014

    If you try it, I want pictures! 🙂

    Reply
Michelle Harlan says January 28, 2014

I miss the snow! Another note to Southerners that drive trucks…your truck bed is the perfect spot to stockpile snowballs. Seriously…jump in there and get to using up all that snow. Victory will be yours!

Reply
    Jamie Farrell says January 28, 2014

    Ha! Great tip, Michelle. 🙂 Love it!

    Reply
Amber Tinsley says January 28, 2014

Lick all the icicles you want but do NOT lick anything metal.

Reply
    Jamie Farrell says January 28, 2014

    LOL, Amber. Good reminder! 🙂 And now I want to watch A Christmas Story… 🙂

    Reply
Amy R says January 29, 2014

You make me smile, Jamie! I love the comment about plastic bags. I tell my kids to put them on their feet over their socks to be able to keep out the water since they like to be out for hours in the snow. And LOL about the patio furniture pictures. Great post as usual!

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