A Yankee Girl's Guide To Southern Roulette - Jamie Farrell

A Yankee Girl’s Guide To Southern Roulette

This is tea:

Unsweet Tea

This is sweet tea:

Jamie Farrell's Sweet Tea

This is Southern roulette:

Southern Roulette

Can you spot the sweet tea?

(Also, for true Southern roulette, these could also be in matching crystal or red solo cups.)

Since I’ve lived in the South for almost a decade, I decided recently that I needed to attempt to expand my repertoire of Southern dishes. And I had never made sweet tea. I’d seen it done once or twice, so obviously, I can do it. I’m good in the kitchen like that. And just in case you need to know, I’m going to share my super-secret, ultra-effective method of making the kind of sweet tea that Jackson’s momma might call mediocre.

(I grew up in Illinois. I’m doing my best here, people.)

Step One:

Sweet Tea Ingredients

Gather your ingredients.

Apparently Luzianne is the Southern tea of choice. I had Barry’s. (From Ireland.) Also needed: water (duh), sugar (duh) and baking soda (huh?). (On the baking soda – the internet told me so. And we all know the internet never lies.)

Step Two:

Boiling Sugar Water

Boil a couple cups of sugar in a couple cups of water, then pour over your tea bags. (The internet also says you’ll make your tea too bitter if you boil your bags.)

Step Three:

Tea Bags steeping in Sugar Water

Steep. (The internet had this big argument with itself over how long to steep it, so I say, go with your gut.)

Step Four:

Jamie Farrell in a tea-shirt

Splatter sticky tea concentrate all over yourself when you remove the bags from the water. Sometimes it’s best to not squeeze that last bit of water from the tea bag. Especially with two spoons. Especially if you didn’t want to take a bath.

Or start a new trend called “Tea Stained Shirts.” AKA, “Tea Shirts.”

Step Five:

Strip off your shirt in the kitchen. Rinse it. Make your husband’s day when he walks in and finds you shirtless. Ruin his day when you point out the children are awake, and he needs to watch them while you take a shower.

(No, you don’t get a picture.)

Step Six:

Top the tea concentrate off with a few cups of cold water, cool, then pour and drink.

And do not confuse your sweet tea with your unsweet tea. Because that, my friends, is how you lose at Southern Roulette.


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