An Ode to Bacon - Jamie Farrell

An Ode to Bacon

After last week’s discovery of this bacon costume, I’ve had bacon on my mind.

No, wait.

I have bacon on my mind pretty much all the time. I mean, it’s bacon. How do you spell yummy? B-A-C-O-N.


In fact, in honor of bacon, today’s pick for my Fantasy Boyfriend League team is Kevin Bacon.

(Duh, right?)

He’s my official BF. (That’s Bacon Fryer. Though technically it could be boyfriend too. My Bacon Fryer Boy Friend? BFBF?) And he’ll be wearing this shirt while he’s frying my bacon. (Literally. Because I’m not so sure I’d want someone to figuratively fry my bacon. That sounds… unpleasant.)

And while we’re frying our bacon, we’ll probably say a quick prayer to Saint Anthony the Abbott, whom some consider to be the patron saint of bacon. (Let’s just go with it. Sounds good, right? And isn’t that Facebook page the best thing since sliced bacon?!)

So now that we’re in a good bacon mood, let’s get the bad poetry going. I’ll start. You finish in the comments, okay? Bonus Fantasy Boyfriend League points to anyone who makes me a bacon haiku.

Oh bacon, oh bacon, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I love your sweet meaty scent when you’re frying on my stove.

I love you when you’re baked in the shape of a rose.

And I love you all the more when I sniff you with my nose.

I love the crisp of your strip when you crunch between my teeth.

I love the grease on my fingers that said I had a good eat.

I love you when you’re partnered with eggs and toast and even with sweets.

I love bacon, yes I do. I love bacon, how about you?

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